Vayetze
What does it
feel like to experience a moment of truth? It does not have to be a bad or
tragic thing, but, any juncture or crossroads when we are compelled to follow a
new course in our lives. I can imagine several examples such as beginning a new
venture, deciding to retire and relocate or taking a new job or to get married
or even to mourn a loved one’s passing? How about a medical diagnosis and the
process of deciding the course of medical treatment? Making a choice between priorities at work with
family or a personal decision about one’s identity such as for example
revealing one’s sexual orientation?
In this
week’s parasha, Vayetze, Jacob, the precocious kid, flees the wrath of a
betrayed and revenge seeking brother Esau. On his journey back to his native
Haran for refuge with his uncle Laban, Jacob encounters in a dream a moment of
truth. How did the sages understand this transcendent occasion in his life?
What does the Torah teach us about reacting to the moments of truth that move
us to change course in our life as well?
In Genesis chapter 28 it is written, “Jacob
left Beer-Sheba and set out for Haran. He came upon a certain place and stopped
there for the night for the son had set. Taking one of the stones of that place
he put it under his head and lay down in that place. He had a dream, a stairway was set on the
ground and its top reached to the sky, and angels of God were going up and down
on it. And the Lord was standing beside
him and said, “I am the Eternal One, the God of your father Abraham, and the
god of Isaac, the ground on which you are lying, I will give to you and your
offspring. Your descendants shall be as
the dust of the earth, you shall spread out to the west and to the east, to the
north and to the south. And the families
of the earth shall bless themselves by you and your descendants. Remember I am with you and I will protect you
wherever you go and will bring you back to the land I will not leave you and I
have done what I have promised you” (28:10-15).
Clearly this
dream was an unexpected moment of truth for Jacob. His reaction to the dream
reflected his willingness to embrace change and a new course in his life. Jacob
says, “Surely the Lord is present in this place and I did not know it.,” How
awesome is this place! This is none other than the abode of God and the gateway
to heaven,” (28:16-17).
The sages of our tradition had many
interpretations but one stands out above the others. The Midrash says regarding
Jacob’s dream, “When you see a fateful moment, do not stand against it but give
way to it” (Tanhuma Midrash). Was he facing the reality that even though he was
in the midst of running away from his immediate family drama and deception with
Esau that one day he would accept his destiny to return to the Promised Land
and be Patriarch? In other words could he run away in the short term but not
run away in the long term from his newly defined purpose in life?
“When you
see a fateful moment, do not stand against it but give way to it.” I feel the
intention here is that life often times brings us unanticipated moments of
great decision and the Midrash is saying that we are supposed to embrace change
rather than resist it. For Jacob the dream of a stairway to heaven with angels
ascending and descending along with God’s covenantal promise helped him expand
his awareness of a new life direction. He knew not what would come next in his
life but maybe now he understood that his purpose was to fulfill a divine
promise that he Jacob would one day be the Patriarch of this tribe. The future
is not always clear to us initially in so far as what change means in the short
term but somehow if we open our eyes we eventually grasp a long range
perspective in the direction of our lives.
“When you
see a fateful moment do not stand against it but give way to it.” I heard
something like this from a man who had lost his beloved to a disease and
refused to ever consider another life partner again until that special person
entered into his life. He then fought the moment of feeling that he could love
again but eventually embraced those feelings and ultimately married her.
A woman told
me a story about a time when she was notified that she was pregnant and
experienced a conflict inside her regarding to have the child or choose an
abortion. She gave way to the powerful emotions of being a mother and chose to
carry the unexpected child to full term.
I recall a
college student’s confession of his decision to change his major and pursue a
new course of study where his real passions were and risked his parent’s
disapproval. Change is the most threatening thing and, parenthetically, the
most exhilarating experience. I am not sure Jacob made peace with this change
of discovering his destiny but he followed it like an adventurer on a long
journey not being sure of the outcome but committed to the journey.
“When a
fateful moment comes do not stand against it but give way to it.” These historic moments occur sparingly in a
lifetime. Sometimes we stop for a moment and ask, “Am I in charge of my life or
am I being guided on a much larger scale drama than I could ever imagine?
That is one
of the major questions that religion asks of us which is to ascertain our
purpose in life. For Jacob he received his marching orders from God that his
role was to father a family and represent the Jewish people one day. That was
his fateful moment. Can we recall an encounter or a fateful moment that would
shape a new direction for our lives? Thanksgiving is an excellent time to
reflect on the journey each of us has travelled to be here. Maybe we did not
welcome that change at first and quite possibly it scared us or challenged us
to the core of our being but at the end of the day we accepted this new
direction anyway. That was the challenge that Jacob finally embraced and it is
one which happens to us when we least expect it. As Isaiah said at the
conclusion of the Midrash; “Go my people, enter your chambers and shut your
doors behind me. Hide just for a moment until my anger passes” (Isaiah 6:20).
The message is hiding to avoid the challenges of a change of course is
understandable. At the end of the day change is inevitable and a call to action
for a new opportunity at life can be a gift in the long run. The Sages say
don’t resist it but embrace change.
